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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, I head back to my workshop. I’m pumped to work on this new violin. It’s gonna be a masterpiece, I swear! But then, I realize I’m out of varnish. Ugh! So, I dash over to the local shop on Cesta 1. The guy there, let’s call him “Varnish Vlad,” is always a character. He’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. I ask for varnish, and he starts telling me about his “secret recipe.” Like, dude, I just need some varnish, not a cooking lesson!

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